one, summer evening he closed, the door walked down, the steps one summer evening sat, behind the wheel turned, the key one summer evening maybe, he remembered the (swaying) jungle palms one summer evening of happ(ier) times in, malay'sia one summer evening no more, listening, to we’ve heard it all, before one summer evening a short, drive packed, locked and loaded one summer evening a, scribbled note and, some scotch tape one summer evening sealed, tight hold tight, one, summer evening just, one turn of a key one, summer evening
poetry | 101 | rehab | evening
My prompt for this week’s Poetry 1o1 Rehab Prompt is EVENING.
What does your mind turn to in the evening?
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Lovely and poignant.
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I agree! Great prompt.
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Thank you!
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you’re welcome 🙂
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Thank you Lizl.
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For this prompt, I am recycling one of my old (but relatively recent) poems, written for the Day 6 assignment of Writing 201: Poetry in February 2015: http://wp.me/p5BCD4-oJ “Like Fireflies”. It remains one of my favorites.
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It is a lovely poem, thank you for sharing once more Lizl.
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🙂
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there is an element of foreboding here – a finality – closure – and it is slightly disturbing; not that I mind; not all poetry has to be sunshine and roses.
You’ve done an interesting and excellent job of conveying a story here – I like the carefully chosen words, the line breaks, the emphasis that is directed by the way it all comes together.
😀 Andy
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Thank you! The story is indeed a sad one, and writing it was itself (another) attempt at closure.
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I do hope it offered some comfort and peace.
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I submit my poem, A Midnight Quest, part of my Quest series, for this:
http://melindakucsera.com/2016/01/25/a-midnight-quest/
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Thank you for contributing this to the Rehab!
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You’re welcome 🙂 it fit the theme of the week perfectly.
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This is a faultlessly moving poem. The way you use unconventional punctuation, especially the poignant commas after ‘definite’ articles almost moved this very cynical reader to tears. It reminds me of post-minimalist classical music.
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Thank you very much, that is quite an amazing response to my poem, a difficult story and written in haste. Really appreciate it.
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i like the reiteration – beautiful writing. such lush imagery and the tumbling rhythm… i love this piece. it kinda made me feel homesick for somewhere i’ve never been. a strange and wonderful feeling……………..
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Thank you, I didn’t think this poem would provoke such responses…
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I like how you handle repetition, nicely done!
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Thank you…it was a reflection of how I was thinking about the subject of the poem, going round and round….
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Here is mine… http://susanscreativewritingandpoetry.com/2016/01/26/evening-times-poetry101-rehab-12616/
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A fine poem with a disturbing final line
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Your poem is so good! Passion filled and wonderful! From my dreamland:
https://writersdream9.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/sagetanka/
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Thank you, and also for contributing yours!
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My pleasure!
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nicely put…very rhythmic
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Thank you, that would be the rhythmic tapping on my iPhone…
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Beautiful and deep – here’s my effort, late but posted!
https://arousedblog.wordpress.com/2016/01/30/evening/
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Thank you, and for your own contribution!
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Here is my take on the prompt. https://oudeis2005.wordpress.com/2016/01/30/sunday-evening/
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Here’s my poem for the most recent prompt:
https://schattenengel.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/in-the-evenings-light/
Your poem is great Andy and so is the prompt. I enjoyed thinking and writing about it 🙂
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Thank you, I’m glad you continue to take part!
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