dark | side | thursday | twentynine

Do you need, desire or crave a new challenge?  Are you open to sharing your dark side?   Then read on.

2015_12_03_09432


Do you have a dark side?

Or, think you may have one. Or indeed worry that you might have one. Or, for that matter, worry that you don’t and would like one? If so,  join me here each week for dark | side | thursday.

Over a period of 52 weeks, I am writing a story. A dark story that will unfold as the weeks pass. Each Thursday, at 13:00 UTC, I will post a new chapter. Each chapter will be exactly 500 words long, and will be accompanied by a photograph. You can catch up on the story so far by clicking here on dark | side | thursday

Share your dark side?

I invite you to join me either by writing your own dark story, week by week, or, if that is too much, by dropping by, now and then, perhaps when the mood suits you or, perhaps, when it doesn’t, and by sharing a photograph, poem or a suitably dark piece of prose. To cross over to dark | side | thursday create your post, tag it dark side thursday and link to it by clicking on the dark | side | thursday badge below, where you can also find all the contributions so far. Or you can simply share your link in the comments section of my weekly post. And, should the mood take you, you can add the badge to your post.

AJT_6650-Edit


dark | side | thursday | twentynine

And so, the dance, started again.

He typed, enjoying the gentle click, click, click as the square, black plastic buttons, with glowing white characters, gently depressed under his flying fingers. His wrist resting on the clean aluminium skin of the machine on which he was writing. The screen glowing white, nothing  to see but the words appearing, one after the other, in the old school font that was a soft spot of his. When he did this, he felt at home, comforted somehow. For now.

And by his side, the battered old journal, bound tight, its secrets still shut away inside a leather thong.  The leather, a base and wanton challenge to the gleaming aluminium usurper.

He looked up from the shallow laminated wooden desk on which he was typing. His eyes, distracted for a moment by the red woven plaid thrown over the sofa, looked towards the windows. Distracted by memories, and almost memories, of things that had happened, that were going to happen, and those that didn’t. His view of the empty industrial landscape outside interrupted by the thin plastic gauze that had been applied to the window, ostensibly in the interests of privacy. A wry almost smile formed on his lips. The rain forever lashing against the windows, a susurration of sensation that stealthily stole his attention.

He remembered the origin of the man in black. The one who always wore black, the man in the song. The Byronic anti-hero. The song inspired by pictures on a domed roof. In the entrance hall of a municipal station that had been in a state of constant renovation. Until the time came for it to finish. In another world.

He continued to type.

The words kept appearing. He had no idea how or why. Pretty much how he felt about it all. Type. And see.

The man in black, his narrator, had travelled far, in a circle. And yet, only now had his journey really started. He knew that many many roads lay ahead of him, roads covered in ice and snow, roads ahead that held promise. And he knew that promise, that fake premise, would be his undoing.

He thought of her, the woman that had been the nemesis of his man in black. The conflicting and contrasting emotions, the walk in the soft light that led to that terrible hole in the ground. The loss and despair. The search, the seeking, and the resolution.

The cold clinical way in which the man in black and that woman had been conjoined in a convergence of chaos in a white tiled hospital room.

Images of that square, empty of people, the tower, the climb to the top. The despair.

He stood up. The keyboard stilled for a moment. He looked through the rain, at the chimney stack, a relic of times gone by. Industrial, and fanciful.

The rain smeared across the dirty exterior of the window.

And a tear spilled from his eye as he remembered. It all.


The portal to dark | side | thursday opened on the twenty first day of may in the year twenty hundred and fifteen and will remain open for fifty two weeks.

twentynine | fiftytwo

dark | side | thursday | twentyeight

Do you need, desire or crave a new challenge?  Are you open to sharing your dark side?   Then read on.

2015_11_25_06237-Edit


Do you have a dark side?

Or, think you may have one. Or indeed worry that you might have one. Or, for that matter, worry that you don’t and would like one? If so,  join me here each week for dark | side | thursday.

Over a period of 52 weeks, I am writing a story. A dark story that will unfold as the weeks pass. Each Thursday, at 13:00 UTC, I will post a new chapter. Each chapter will be exactly 500 words long, and will be accompanied by a photograph. You can catch up on the story so far by clicking here on dark | side | thursday

Share your dark side?

I invite you to join me either by writing your own dark story, week by week, or, if that is too much, by dropping by, now and then, perhaps when the mood suits you or, perhaps, when it doesn’t, and by sharing a photograph, poem or a suitably dark piece of prose. To cross over to dark | side | thursday create your post, tag it dark side thursday and link to it by clicking on the dark | side | thursday badge below, where you can also find all the contributions so far. Or you can simply share your link in the comments section of my weekly post. And, should the mood take you, you can add the badge to your post.

AJT_6650-Edit


This post is submitted both as 28 : 52 of my dark | side | thursday serial story and as my late response to Day 16 of the WordPress Writing 101 course in which we are invited to ‘mine your own material’.  So, this week’s chapter draws on some earlier posts, at least in part.


dark | side | thursday | twentyeight

Realisation spread through his body. A raging plague consuming him. Undoing him.

It all began to make sense.

Yes, he was the man in black. Always had been.

There was no time for this though. No time now for defragmenting the hard drive of his psyche. That task would have to be demoted, paused, left bouncing on the menu bar, until he was in a better state to deal with it.

For now, his mission, objective, goal, was simple. Survival.

And, he realised, it did’t look too rosy right now. No, not rosy at all. Not even the palest shade of rosy. Frankly, it all looked rather funereal now.

But HID!

He still had the key.

That much was true. But oh, he had more than that. He had the things he held in his heart. Not his soul, if he had ever had one, that was gone. Now after, well after -that.

A fragment of a rhyme kept bouncing around his mind:

‘The man in black, who traveled so far, put away his heart’

The fragment bothered him, something slipping away, from the boundaries of his conscious self.

Stop it. He said to himself.

Now. Now, focus, on survival.

Survive. Live. If you ever want to see her again. You must live. You must remember what it is to be the man in black.

Another fragment fiddled with his failing mind:

‘Do you know, the man in black?’

Did he, could anyone know him. Really?

He felt the ground below him collapse, fragment, he felt his body begin to slip through. He heard her voice, that voice, the voice he heard in his dreams, in his nightmares. Her voice. And those words, those terrible words, words that still made him numb.

‘Don’t let him…’

But he had. And now he was, finally, facing the consequences.

The ground opened beneath him. The floor of the sealed tomb opened up and he fell into the darkness.

The desk in front of him was empty. Save for that box, his leather bound journal, and a pen.

He reached out, picked up the journal, opened the first page, read the words scratched out on to the parchment. He turned the pages, slowly, one by one. Pausing every now and then, to linger over a phrase, pause and reflect on the language. He turned to the final page of writing. He sat back in his chair, hesitated, then, picking up the pen in his left hand, began to write, the words flying off his pen, ink spraying. Then, when he had finished, he placed the pen carefully on the table, nib facing away from him, closed the journal and, with great care, wrapped the leather strap around the journal, sealing it. He picked it up, walked to the window. Holding the journal, he looked through the rain streaked portal into that dark night.

The end of the first cycle had arrived, as he had always known it would.

Now, the dance would start again.


The portal to dark | side | thursday opened on the twenty first day of may in the year twenty hundred and fifteen and will remain open for fifty two weeks.

twentyeight | fiftytwo


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 15

twentyfour

‘It was the possibility of darkness that made the day seem so bright’
― Stephen King

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This post is began as something of an experiment. It is, started out initially at least, as my response to Day 14 of the WordPress Writing 101 course, we were invited (I’m late to the party – again) ‘to recreate a single day’. I’ve decided to twist the prompt, because that’s what I do. So, rather than recreate a day, I’m going to share today, my day, with you, my readers. That means I plan to update this post throughout the day, never tried this before so let’s see what happens? Let’s hope writing the post doesn’t get in the way of the day I have decided to write about. Ha.


12:00 Noon.

Woke very late, after months of not sleeping well, this day I slept through until noon. Woke to texts and news bulletins warning that the Metro has been shut down here in Brussel. Pouring with rain. Not a good day to visit Brussel. I’ve realised that I have no food, my plan was to visit Marks & Spencer and buy some comfort food. Comforting to see, courtesy of BBC News, that heavily armed soldiers are guarding both M&S and the Apple Store next door, now need to plan how to get from Molenbeek (yes indeed) to the store.


12:45


13:24

After coffee and hot shower, wrestling with html to insert columns (something I would have learned had I stuck with Blogging X01, decide to give up and just type. Now time to go out and see if I can take photos of whatever is, or is not happening. Wonder if I will stick with this 24 style post? Catch you later. maybe?


13:43

Now time to grab my camera and go see what’s happening. Catch you later?


14:25

Buses seem to be operating. Well this 86 to Brussel Centraal is anyway. Hard to write post with one hand and strap hang with the other. Never a dull moment 😉


14:49


15:47

Light fading now. Parts of central Brussel resemble a ghost town today. Is this freedom or fear. Who wins on a day like this?


16:16

Ok, time to head home and check the shots I took on the street.  Also, I’m soaking wet and my fingers are freezing and my mobile battery is about done.


16:45


16:55

I can see I need to tidy up some code in this post. Realised it’s not that easy to try and post on a mobile whilst also trying to document troops on the streets with my Nikon. About which more later. Photos now downloaded to my Mac so now to review and edit. Will probably post some here and also over on belgianstreets.


17:27

Uploading shots from the streets of Brussel to belgianstreets. And watching BBC news talk about Molenbeek, from my flat, in Molenbeek.


18:10

Posted gallery of images from my walk around central Brussel this afternoon. Now time to take a break and have a bite to eat…

Check out my photos on belgianstreets.

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19:56
So much for that break


20:45

left the warmth of bar, heavily guarded by soldiers and now heading back home to Molenbeek.


22:28

Now relaxing with a glass of wine and just watched my interview on BBC World News which featured many of the photos that I took today. And, when I decided to try this experimental post I thought it would be just another ordinary day…


23:41

Here is a rather poor recording of the interview that I gave earlier this evening on the BBC (it may take a while to upload and be ready to review). With apologies for the poor audio and wonky angle, I’m tired.
With thanks to the BBC I am delighted to have uploaded the unedited live interview that took place on Saturday night, this replaces my rather shambolic amateur capture…


01:06

Actually after a day like today, it’s hard to just, well, sleep.


02:10
And so, to bed, perchance to dream.


11:09

Another late rise, although in my defence I didn’t really fall asleep until around 4. Time to make a coffee and think about the rest of the day. At least it’s stopped raining and it was a peaceful night.  May go back out shooting again today or maybe just curl up and read, been a while since I did that.


11:11

Coffee brewing.AJT_0400


11:56

So, I set myself a period of 24 hours for this post and the time has now come to wrap. When I started typing away yesterday I had no idea what the day would hold.  Which made me think that we never really do. But many of us live our lives as if there would always be another day, another 100 days, so we perhaps don’t live the day in the way we would if it really mattered. Yesterday there was no terror strike in Brussels, thank goodness.

There can only be real peace if all of us care about the world we live in, care about each other, think about each other.

When we look at the terrible periods in history it is often those that sat back, did nothing, didn’t care, couldn’t be bothered, thought it was up to someone else, that caused as much harm as the perpetrators of evil and terror.

So let’s stand united against terror. They can only terrorise us if we let them. There is a role for each and every one of us to play.

Even little acts of kindness, care, compassion and understanding matter.

It’s not necessary to be a hero. Just don’t look the other way.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one” 
― John Lennon


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 14

 

dark | side | thursday | twentyseven

Do you need, desire or crave a new challenge?  Are you open to sharing your dark side?   Then read on.

2015_10_02_04376-Edit


Do you have a dark side?

Or, think you may have one. Or indeed worry that you might have one. Or, for that matter, worry that you don’t and would like one? If so,  join me here each week for dark | side | thursday.

Over a period of 52 weeks, I am writing a story. A dark story that will unfold as the weeks pass. Each Thursday, at 13:00 UTC, I will post a new chapter. Each chapter will be exactly 500 words long, and will be accompanied by a photograph. You can catch up on the story so far by clicking here on dark | side | thursday

Share your dark side?

I invite you to join me either by writing your own dark story, week by week, or, if that is too much, by dropping by, now and then, perhaps when the mood suits you or, perhaps, when it doesn’t, and by sharing a photograph, poem or a suitably dark piece of prose. To cross over to dark | side | thursday create your post, tag it dark side thursday and link to it by clicking on the dark | side | thursday badge below, where you can also find all the contributions so far. Or you can simply share your link in the comments section of my weekly post. And, should the mood take you, you can add the badge to your post.

AJT_6650-Edit


This post is submitted both as 27 : 52 of my dark | side | thursday (yes, I know it’s late) which is a milestone in itself as it marks the opening of the second half of the story, and even includes a minor revelation, but it is also my response to Day 13 of the WordPress Writing 101 course in which we are invited to ‘play with word count’. For my own ‘constant readers’ you will know that this story is being told in 52 instalments each of 500 words. So I think it qualifies, you tell me. Or not.


dark | side | thursday | twentyseven

No. He was. Not. Dead.

He remembered it all.

The first day he had walked in that place, how he had felt, misty ambiguity, the strangeness of that place, the feeling of calm he felt there. And yet. Those plastic flowers. The faded photographs.

That hole, in the ground.

Her empty eyes. Dead inside.

Her hand in that of the man in black.

He screamed out loud. A scream from the darkest part of hell. He screamed. In the name of ‘hid. He screamed and screamed until his throat was sore and grating. He screamed as he remembered the snow, snow, on snow, on snow, his way blocked, the cold, the fear, the loneliness. His hopes smashed, pulverised under all that snow, the heavy burden that smothered his mind. Cut off the very air to his bursting lungs.

He screamed.

And no one. Not a soul.

No one heard.

Him.

But. Then. He thought. No. Not like this. No.

He tried to open his eyes. Tried to push his body up, his fingers numb, his mind more so.

The man in black.

A knife sliced through him. His stomach turned to water. His head pounded. He could not breathe.

What was it, about the man in black?

Who was the man in black?

He knew.

He had always known. Right from when it first started.

His eyes would not / could not see. Would not see what was there to see.

His fingers gripped the key. His body, mind, spirit (he had no soul, not now, maybe he never had) would not give up. He was not ready to move on yet. Not yet. Maybe never. The spectre of the man in black would not leave him. She would not leave him.

Or maybe he, he could not let her go. Not yet. Not after all this. All they had lived (or died?) through. Together.

His fingers tightened around the key.

This bloody key would yet save him.

If only he could bloody remember.

Faded photographs. Her photographs. Moments in (their) time.

The man in black. Yes, and him.

Her.

So much to remember, so bloody much to forget. Or not.

And then, his freezing, numb, fingers, found it. A narrow crevice in the unyielding stone floor.

Her, again, he remembered her. Again.

Not unyielding. Oh. So, not.

Pushing that to the back of (what was left of) his mind, he grasped the key in his freezing fingers. Pressed it deep into the yawning crack in the floor.

He pushed it deep, deeper, pressing it into the folds of the earth, he felt the floor vibrate as the key penetrated the folds of the crevice his fingers had opened in the floor.

He felt the ground beneath him move. Heard the ground below him moan as it was violated, torn asunder.

He heard her cry.

‘Don’t let him…’

And then. At that precise point in time. With no doubt.

He realised that he, no one else, was the man.

In black.


The portal to dark | side | thursday opened on the twenty first day of may in the year twenty hundred and fifteen and will remain open for fifty two weeks.

twentyseven | fiftytwo


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 13

zoran živković

‘mr pohotny, senior vice president of a bank prominent in the capital city, met god on a train’

– zoran zivoković, the train

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I love writing.

I love reading.

There was a time, long long ago, when two of the few things that kept me sane were the well thumbed pages of an Isaac Asimov novel, oh, and strawberry jam sandwiches. With lots of creamy butter on thickly sliced white bread. Pure poison, the sandwich, not Asimov, that was ‘Childhood’s End’, literally and metaphorically.

I was barely eight years old.

But, that’s another story.

This post is not about me, well not really, it’s about a man called Zoran Živković.

And it’s also, indirectly, about a country, a city, a people, and a whole bloody lot more.

But mostly, it’s about him.


I’m a big fan of Stephen King, I’m one of his ‘constant readers’. My recollection may be wrong, and I’m damn sure King is not the first person to make this point. But, his opinion, expressed in his quasi-autobiographical ‘On Writing’, that the first line in a novel is the most crucial, the hardest, the most influential, has stuck to me, like a limpet mine. Always.

’Someone must have been telling lies about Joseph K’ A fragment of the opening sentence of Franz Kafka’s ‘The Trial’. Frankly, having read that novel from front to back, and back to front, that opening line tells the whole sorry tale, nothing more is needed, the reader’s mind is slammed into overdrive right from the start, red / green, the smell of burning rubber on the road, there’s only one place to go.


And so also with Zoran Živković.

‘mr pohotny, senior vice president of a bank prominent in the capital city, met god on a train’

You don’t have to believe in God, ‘Hid’, or any other supernatural deity to get his point.

Just think. What would you do, in Mr Pohotny’s circumstance? What one question would you ask, knowing that the answer you received would be the truth. Would you want to know? Really?

And, after knowing, what then?

Živković poses his question in a short story which lingered in my mind long after the initial reading. Each time I take a train journey, I wonder, what if?

I have a collection of his works, alongside other novels by other authors, translated into English from the original Serbian. They are all good, but this one cuts through, like a cruelly sharpened knife through that strawberry jam sandwich.


Serbia, is a country that has a bad vibe for many people. Except, perhaps, those that have visited, and not at the controls of a drone, but lived and worked there as I did.

Belgrade, and her people, have been good to me.

But, I digress. I often do.

How often do any of us have the opportunity to sit on a baking hot summer’s afternoon, sipping a cold beer, with one of our favourite authors?  One who helped shaped our view of a country and its people?

Sit in on a creative writing class in a University (in Serbian), listen to the  softly spoken words of encouragement, the challenge, the passion that those words elicit?

And see the glitter and glow in the eyes of the students. Their respect for this man, their teacher.

I had that experience this Summer.


Zoran gave me a piece of advice.

His advice?

He suggested that I practice writing a short piece of prose to accompany my photographs. My eyes welled up as this author that I admired told me this. Someone I respected and admired had taken the trouble to share a beer with me, and his philosophy, and a little part of his life.

So, here, Zoran, I took your advice. Well, sort of, anyway, in my own way.

And thank you, perhaps in a way, you have directed me to the question that I might have put, in Pohotny’s shoes.

Or not.


The Train, by Zoran Živković was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on 29 September, 2005.

Click on the link below if you’d like to listen to ‘The Train’, and let’s hope we read, and hear, more from Zoran.


This post is my response to the prompt of Day 12 of the WordPress Writing 101 course in which we were invited to express our opinion on a piece of work, (our) opportunity to comment on something you’re something passionate about, or review a piece of art or entertainment that you love or despise – so, this time, I followed the prompt to the letter, I think?


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 12

 

coffee

‘we’re not enemies, we just disagree’
– lyrics from ‘is this it’, the strokes

atownend_2015_01_31_3528-Edit

 

Her: Would you like a coffee?

Him: Yes please, I’ll fix it.

– He did. And yet, he didn’t.

Her: Time for another coffee?

Him: I’d love another, but I’ll miss my train.

Her: Well. Never mind.

– He didn’t. The train was late. He could have. Would it have made any difference?

Him: No. Not really.

(Her: Well. Never mind.)

– the end?


This post was written in response to the prompt for Day 11 of the WordPress Writing 101 course in which we were invited, in one way or another, to ‘update your readers over a cup of coffee’. As ever, I tried my best to stick to the prompt, and this time, I think I almost made it. And, as they say in the movies, ‘any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.’


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 11

(crime) scene

‘How do you defeat terrorism? Don’t be terrorised.’
― Salman Rushdie, Step Across This Line

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The door opens, slowly, rattling up.

Inside, there is security, double locked doors, video cameras, a keen eyed concierge, neighbours who know everyone. And yet know no-one. Not really. Who knows. I don’t. Do you?

Inside, they are like me, maybe I can trust them, maybe not, but I know them, and they know me. I think.

The door rumbles up and over. Electrical humming. Cables taught.

Like my nerves, drawn tight.

It’s all over the news.

They. They might be out there, beyond the door, the double locks, the security. They might be there. And, they might get in.

Blue lights flash. Sirens fill the night with something less than seasonal sensation. Doors are broken down. They are there, and they, the others, the ones with the blue lights, they know it.

And, between them and me, the door. It rolls back down.

Closed.

Safe again, or not?

At home, in a place that you might just have seen on the news.


This post was written in response to the prompt for Day 10 of the WordPress Writing 101 Course in which were invited to ‘quietly observe the world around us and write about what we see.’ Sadly, where I live it has been far from quiet, albeit reasonably far away from the events that resulted in the disquiet here, although some say vice versa. Needless to say, this post is in part fiction, and (mostly) a reflection on recent events.


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 10

(not writing)

“You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway?
― E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

atownend_2015_05_17_7364-Edit-Edit

 

(not writing) is both the the title of this post and also what, in the context of the WordPress Writing 101 course, on which I embarked a couple of weeks ago with the best of intentions, I have been doing or (not doing).

So, now, during my lunch break, over a crafty coffee, or hunched up on the train (yes, I am once more commuting to work by train rather than as a solitary occupant of an expensive pollutant on four wheels) I am playing catch up with last week’s posts.

I write but I am not a ‘writer’.

By day, I am a consultant in the media and telecommunications industry, something that pays the bills and, as it happens, involves a great deal of communication, both written and verbal. So, yes, I write a lot for a living, and have learned much from many who have tried to make me write in a crisper, clearer voice ‘can you try to use less flowery language’ or perhaps ‘if you can’t get that idea on to a single page you’re just going to lose them….’

But, I am not a ‘writer’.

Although, I want to be. Try to be. And will keep trying.

My first ‘real’ blog kicked off in the fall of 2011. That is when a little project called belgradestreets.com was born. A little project that, as they say, had legs. A project that gave me two published books of my photographs, two exhibitions (so far) and a documentary on Serbian Television. And an ambition to do more, a lot more, with my photographic aspirations.

That first project was the child of my lifelong passion for photography.

My photography is (one of the things) that I do when I am not consulting, (not writing), or anything else. When crafting pages for that blog, those first two books, I echewed words (I’m not a writer) and let my photos tell the story that I had in mind.

My second blogging project kicked off, again, as a photoblog, a place to share my feelings and views about living and working in Belgium that I called belgianstreets.com

This is also where I began to muck around with words. Still not writing, but not just pretty pictures either. Then, just over a year ago, I took part in the WordPress Photography 101 course and, not content with just posting pretty (or not) pictures, I began to stretch my writing muscles a little.

That, in a roundabout way, resulted in this blog. Not a platform from which to promote my photographic ambitions (yes, that’s another putative project in progress) and not a blog featuring a single place or theme. This blog is where I now do my (not writing). Earlier this year, I participated in two great WordPress courses. Writing 201 in which I published some quite dreadful poetry, and Writing 101 which, of course, I took part in later to learn how (not) to write.

And so, here I am, still (not writing).

And, if you are still here, and if you did, thank you for reading, I really do appreciate it.


This post was written in response the the prompt for Day 9 of the WordPress Writing 101 course in which we were asked to write about what we do when we are not writing. In addition, we were asked to plan to interview a fellow writer, more about that in due course.

Dear Andy

‘It is rare for people to be asked the question which puts them squarely in front of themselves’
― Arthur Miller, The Crucible

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My response to Day 8 of the WordPress Writing 101 course, in which we were asked to write a post as a letter.

I chose to write a letter, the old fashioned way.

To myself when I was eight.

The same age as is my son, today.

Enough said?


WordPress Writing 101 (November 2015): Day 8