(To, whom ever) was (innocent),
Assumed that I was wrong when I heard about your case! I can hardly believe what I have heard, how could you have behaved so? Why?
Very many people have approached me and raised this issue with me, wondering if you are even real. Your entire life seems to be part dream, part real, and yet neither.
Experience suggests that I may need to think more. I mean, your case is perhaps not entirely unique? Maybe you don’t realise? What were you thinking, were you even thinking? This is so hard for me to write about in this way. You know I rarely write letters. But, in this case, I felt prompted to do so. Every word pressed out of me.
Bürstner, did you know Bürstner? It may be pointless to ask, because I haven’t even finished yet, but I do hope you can tell me? I mean, if not, what was the point of it all?
Know this, writing this letter is so very hard.
Particularly as I have had a long hard day at work, the thing I really needed today (I jest) was to be pressed to write about your case. Finding the words is so very hard, I think you know what I mean? Don’t you?
It is almost time, do you realise that? There is not much time left.
Month by month, I have worried about your case. You claim to be innocent, but are any of us? Really? I wrote recently about questions of morality and criminality and guilt. Your case makes me think of that. Maybe you should too? Please do. It may make all the difference.
That’s the point you see. Are you or are you not innocent, do you even know yourself?
Little by little, I am beginning to see why your case is so important. Important to us all as we consider the big questions. And you know I like to do that, and that writing letters is so hard for me, I feel so pressed, every word a prompt to think. Yes, I feel word pressed.
Bürstner. Why do I keep remembering that name? Have a think and let me know if you know the connection?
Knowledge of your case has become common, many people like what they hear, comments are frequently made about the circumstances of how you fell, did you do it alone or were you pressed? Many felt your words prompted you to step over the edge and do what you did. I believe many may follow you, only time will tell?
Seriously, I mean, just imagine!
Need can be a difficult emotion to handle, I mean, here I am writing to you about your case, but what I really need, is to see you again, talk first hand, hold your hand. And try to forget, you know?
But what then?
Said, do you remember him? He told me that in his country your case would be closed by now. Justice is harsh there. It would all be over. Done.
Know that I will never forget you, your case, what you are going through, what you have been through? My heart is aching.
Me, I have no bloody idea what I would do in your shoes, I mean your case is very challenging, no?
Was anyone ever so hurt, so challenged as you. Your case appears so clear cut. But, they don’t understand, maybe they never bloody will. I do, you know that! Don’t you?
And when will it all end, do you even care? All the trouble your case has caused. For all of us?
Been too long. I’m so tired, your case, I mean it is exhausting. I need to be free and happy again. You do know that? And yet the circumstances of your case. Keep pulling me back in, like a moth to a flame.
K. Yes, K. He knew. He went through, I think, what you are going through now. He was too emotional to fix it?
I need you, sorry, as I write, that really is all that matters. Who cares about your case? The truth will come out, but will they care. No!
For no one cares about the truth. Only about their interpretation of the truth, their morals, their right(s). Who cares anyway? And yet. You know I care. Right??
Because, if you don’t, then the third part, you know, his third part, the hard one, the one he doesn’t really want to write about? Well, if you don’t care then maybe the third part will be the only way. The third way?
Interrogation. Yes, that awaits you, oh Hid, please be brave, they can try, but even in your case, they can’t break you, not if you are strong.
Commission, or omission, that will be the question. That will be the determinant in your case, did you commit, or omit, did you act or not. Did you know?
Laughed. Yes, they laughed, bastards, when they realised. When they realised you might have a point!
Said, he knew, yes, Said knew and understood why you did what you did. Do you miss him? I do.
For, now, there is no going back, we can only move on. Whatever the outcome of your case. There is only one real outcome.
Bürstner, I almost feel jealous, I wish you would, or could tell me? Who?
Was there ever a case like this? Like your case?
Slowly, I can feel the cogs grinding, the machinery turns, your case, our case, will be determined, and then, and then there will be no turning back.
What’s the point? Oh Hid, I am so tired.
Asked them all, what will be the outcome of the case?
Move on, they said.
Fräulein, I remain.
(For the last two weeks I have been attempting to learn how to write better. I’ve been taking part in Writing 101, an online course hosted by Michelle W from the WordPress Blogging U.
Today’s prompt was “Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What’s the first word that jumps off the page? Use this word as your springboard for inspiration.” The twist in the prompt was to “write the post in the form of a letter” . I turned to page 29 of “The Trial” by Franz Kafka, I went a little further than the prompt, and if you find a copy of the book, you may see how I twisted the twist.”
(for wordpress writing 101 – day fourteen)
4 thoughts on “to whom it may concern”
Oh Hid, this is hilarious and tragic. I think the word is rightly Kafkaesque.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mara, I think I need to get on and finish the book…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I now realize I havent read The Trial… while The Castle is one of my favorite books… I remember when I read it years back I would dream crazy dreams related to it night after night for weeks… crazy, ha 🙂
you have changed your blog layout? I love it this way…
you say you want to learn to write better…. what do you want to improve?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! This is my “personal” blog. I have two others belgianstreets and belgradestreets which are location specific. It’s quite tough keeping them all going. I know what you mean about Kafka, hard to sleep after the last page of “The Trial”. I always want to improve…in every way I can.