In the blink Of an eye, he thought To cry. Oh how he wanted to Drink. Shuffling forward, his claws dragging along The floor. Wretched and old, he remembered being Told that it would be better one Day. So he blinked again One eye.
(a story featuring an animal in the form of concrete poetry with a little enjambment for day four of Writing 201)
(and for lucile’s the clinic – photo rehab)
*shot with nikon d700, 50mm f1.4 nikkor lens, edited in aperture 3, analog ex pro 2, double exposure filter applied, and a turtle*
Quite creepy, the one eyed blink!
https://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/2015/02/19/writing201-animal-concretepoetry-enjambment/
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Thank you…for a moment I think I was lost inside the mind of the turtle…
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Andy this is seriously good, I was totally intimidated to try and make the poem in to a shape, i think i will just write a poem, the shaping can be left to another’s imagination. simply brilliant well done x
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Justine, you are seriously kind! This was the hardest prompt to respond to so far, I wonder what Ben will come up with for tomorrow?
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I know I’m seriously scared lol
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We will see what we will see…
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It’s so good I want to read more…wish it was long 😉
Great!!
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You are very kind, I had no idea where I was going with this one…
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Happens…but that’s what readers are for writers:) (to let you know where you are going)
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Thank you!
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Brilliant!! As they say in England!
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Thank you!! It was fun and when I started I had no idea what I was going to write…
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It’s been forever since I’ve written a poem in the form of a shape. But then again, until a few weeks ago, it had been forever since I had written a haiku. Thank you for inspiring me!
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It was my first time today and thank you!
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This is brilliant!
“So he blinked again
One eye.”
You have yourself a fan!
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Thank you so much, it was a hastily penned poem so your appreciation is very welcome!
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I’m scared to death by the one-eyed turtle and will sleep with the light on tonight. The poem is too brilliant for me to even comment on it.
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Well, I’m sorry the turtle scared you into thinking my poem was any good. It was written in haste after a little prompting…
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So well done! For a while I wondered whether it’s an eye or a horizontal “cross-cut” representation of a turtle (it could be both, of course), and loved the ambiguity. I also really enjoyed the slowing effect of the gap in the middle of the poem — it forces you to take a breath before the next “step,” which, again, works so well with the topic you chose. That was a great take on the assignment.
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Thank you Ben! This course is both challenging and fun, I really appreciate your feedback and telling me what you saw in a post that was essentially a piece of “free writing” with little editing…
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Brilliant, yet again! Oh, and that’s a lovely photo too. 🙂
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Thank you Amy, really appreciate that, is it any warmer over there now?
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You’re quite welcome. Yeah, it’s a little warmer. It’s -1C today. Balmy!
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Wow! Swimwear weather now 😉
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I’m wearing sandals!
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You Canadians are tough 😉
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And stupid!
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I doubt that.
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Oh, Andy…this is lovely. The shape, the pause, the tear…..and Ben loved it! So well done!
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Thank you Lois, I am so glad you like it, this was written in a hurry…so I am humbled by the comments I have received, yours included…
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Don’t cry Old Mama , Papa Andy’s joke …!!!
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